The Sudden Poo

This poo was created using pizza, eggs and baked beans. Not all at once. It took a few days, and came on quite suddenly just as I was starting to think I might have got constipated again.

Poo Planet

This poo was really just a series of nuggets, one of which I caught and reproduce above. It looks like a little planet. It’s a little strange to consider how it might have been shaped into a near-perfect ball on its way out. I’d been eating mostly pizza.

Colossal Diarrhea

This photo doesn’t even begin to tell the story of the poo I did this morning. It has been a long time since I had diarrhea like that. In fact, my bottom ached after about ten minutes of near constant poo. What you see in the photo is merely the final drop of solid after about ten gallons of liquid. I was exhausted afterwards. I had to have a shower. I’m starting to think that, after eating a lot of pizza, I might in fact be lactose intolerant. Dairy seems to cause problems. Drank a lot of Coke too, which probably didn’t help. Hmm, and I ate eggs too, for the first time in almost a week.

The Unexpected Poo

Do you ever wander into the bathroom to wee, then think ‘Hmm, maybe I could do a poo’, sit down and – wham! – out comes a huge poo! That’s what happened here. See? They don’t all have a long gestation period. This one was the result of eating a steak with a potato and vegetables, and I think it might be the perfect poo.

The Whisky and Coke Poo

I hadn’t drunk whisky and Coke for quite a while, but it seems to have something of a shrinking effect on my poo. However, I suspect there may well have been a lot more round the corner, up the U-bend… No blood this time, though, which is good!

The Too Much Tea Poo

I drank a lot of tea yesterday, and ate quite a lot of fibre – including breakfast cereal, for the first time in ages! I think I spotted a tiny amount of blood in the first part of this poo, before the main event descended, but it was so tiny it may have been nothing. Nothing to do but wait, I guess.

The Slightly Alarming Poo

Well this is bad! There’s not supposed to be blood in poo, not ever. It can mean lots of bad thigns, from simple haemmorhoids and a scratched anus to bowel cancer. I’m hoping this is just a one-off, possibly due to the constipation I’ve been suffering recently. Hmm. Well, we’ll find out soon enough! In the meantime, I decided to go one step further this time and record a video of the poo emerging, and as you’ll see, it was a surprisingly long poo:

The Pizza & Hot Dog Poo (part 2)

Just thirty minutes after the previous poo, this one came out. Very quick, no problems. Again, hotdog and pizza with beer were behind this. It looks like a load of pebbles, or perhaps a map of Greece. No offence to Greece.

The Pizza & Hot Dog Poo (part 1)

Yesterday, all I ate was a hotdog and, later, a pizza. I considered adding something healthy to the mix, but never quite managed it. Oh, and two pints of beer. The result is above. Pretty sloppy, although more was to come just half an hour later…

The Thai Chicken Curry Poo

I feel that this is what a poo should be like. It has the solid consistency that you’d expect of a really good diet. We ate Thai chicken curry with rice the night before (home-made), and the poo you see above just slipped out nice n’easy the next morning.